10 Things I Have Learned in 10 Years of Marriage


This Friday, July 29th, Emilee and I will celebrate 10 years of marriage! The road has not always been easy, but it has always been worth it. Here are 10 things that I have learned in 10 years.

10. Embrace her uniqueness
I fully believe that God has perfectly created Emilee in His image to fulfill the purposes that He has for her. I have learned over the last 10 years to embrace (not change) those unique qualities that make her, her!

9. Live with margin
Emilee and I decided that we wold live with financial margin. We realized that there are a lot of things to fight over in marriage but let’s eliminate money as one of those options. I can honestly say that in 10 years we may have argued 5 times over money and it’s usually how much to spend on the kids for Christmas 🙂

8. Counseling is awesome
Over the last 10 years Emilee and I have both been to professional counseling and it has greatly strengthened us individually and as a couple.

7. Have fun
Life is to short to live day to day. Our marriage has been exciting over 10 years because we have fun and make time to have fun.

6. Embrace the change
I love the fact that the woman I married 10 years ago is NOT the same woman I am married to today. I have watched Emilee grow and change over the last 10 years and I have not only embraced those changes but I have encouraged her every step along the way. It’s ridiculous to think that “he” or “she” will never change. Change is a great thing!

5. Keep dating
Staying in love is a choice and it requires work. Over 10 years we went from no kids with part-time jobs to two kids, a dog, and we both have demanding full-time jobs. Life is busy but I heard once that you never drift towards anything good. We have to keep dating each other and keep falling in love.

4. It’s not a competition
Marriage is not a competition and there is no score card. It doesn’t matter how many times I have done this or that. What matters is that we agree on who will do what and then allow room for flexibility.

3. Keep looking straight ahead
I have realized in 10 years that my blessing is not to my right or my left but it’s right in front of me. What I mean is there is no room for me to compare my marriage to the marriages of those around me. My blessing is what God has for me, right in front of me. Eyes on Jesus.

2. Learn to say the lost word, “Sorry”
Being quick to admit your mistake and own your end of the conflict has been one of the greatest factors in watching my marriage grow over the last 10 years.

1. The real problem is me
I have learned in 10 years that I never once have had a “marriage issue.” Instead I have had a lot of “Nate” issues that I bring into my marriage. If I fix the “me,” it will result in a better “we.”

AUTHOR: Nate Siemon
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